Have you ever started digging for an old photograph and found yourself spending hours looking through tens of folders of other pictures, losing track of the one you started out looking for in the first place?
This has happened to me more often lately because I’m being allergic to organizing my files onto my new laptop. I think it’s my (not so) secret indulgence- reliving moments from the past and seeing how different everything is since that moment. It has been all sorts – I laugh looking at how we used to dress, I laugh about some of the stories hidden in the picture; I cherish how inseparable some of these relationships seemed, I wonder how and why it changed and think about what it would have been like if there hadn’t been any change at all. Basically, I dive into a pool of nostalgia.
My time away from my family and friends, and I’m talking about physical separation over the last two years, has made me realize that some people in our lives fade away, for one reason or another. I don’t mean not talking to family and friends so often. I mean cut off or wither away completely. Only know them through their social media profiles- no talking, no other form of communication.
That kind of breaking up, it doesn’t have to be because of an argument or a fight or anything irrational. It’s just something that you let go of because either one or both parties forget to feed it (if not all, sometimes) with positive things. It’s taking a step back from friendship to an acquaintance or family to someone you used to know.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because life is about growth and change. We all grow up and lose our baby teeth- there is a gap at first, till the permanent one grows. “Oh! I miss my milk teeth!”- said no one ever.
I’m writing this for the family and friends that have faded away from my life. Some happened actively, some because it’s just how it is. This is why I envy children. Growing up ruins innocence and illusion.
That’s what happened with my family – I grew up. It’s disillusioning to watch the people become real. It’s disappointing when the ones you’ve looked up to as a child have flaws and you start seeing it. I saw “grownups” bicker like they shouldn’t- even with me. It’s a clear indicator of how age doesn’t always equate to wisdom.
With friends, mostly, it has been just being apart geographically. We boast of how technology diminishes distances and makes the world small. But that’s not the truth. Distance is a very strict teacher.
While I try to keep my head up in this sea of the past, I’ll say this- I look at these pictures and think of the happy faces and happy stories. It will make me sad that something made it not work out, but not enough to discuss the circumstances and play the blame game. For the sake of the inseparability that once existed, let’s rise above the drama.