Two of my closest friends got married over the last few weeks (not to each other). That's two weddings I've missed because of distance. Even though not being there completely sucked, I've realised that it doesn't change our importance in each others' lives.
On the one hand, it feels like this year has been each day dragging through to the next- like that feeling of your feet sinking deeper as the wave of water recedes into the ocean. On the other, these last twelve months have whizzed by in a flash and dropped a beautiful little boy in our hands, like watching the waves and constantly being fascinated without worrying about how much time has passed!
K is just over six weeks old now. For him, that means starting to adjust to the outside world even as we continue to mimic his former home of nine months. For me, it means, feeling a bit like my pre-pregnant self.
Today is das Baby's calculated due date. While H and I still wait, the bright side is that it's a public holiday here in Germany . I'd like to think it's actually for us, in celebration of reaching a full-term pregnancy, but not without a tiny complaint.
I feel like we have all become so overly sensitive about how much we talk or not talk, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Skype not making that better. So let's remind ourselves to not take everything personally, take offence or make it about ourselves in these situations. Most of the time, it is less about ourselves and more about just accepting life for what it is, how technology has changed the way we interact with each other and of most importantly, empathising with one another.
Last time this year, I was cold, homesick, lost and fighting to keep hope flickering. After all that sadness, all those tears and screams that Heiko had to endure, we have found a system that keeps things going. It's not perfect, but it is something. I have found a version of me that has adapted to this strange land, full of its strange people...
Every day, I discover new pathways and new areas along with Sophie. While she smells the grass, plays with the flowers and explores newness with her superhero smelling powers, I'm reading gravestones of people long gone, spotting a bird I've never seen before or just thinking a lot about...well, lots of things.